Bad Berets: ‘You could land a helicopter on that!’

WARNING: Contains images of appallingly bad head-dress and other uniform disasters. If anyone in your family is a warrant officer in the military, you may want to call an ambulance for the coronary they are definitely about to have after seeing some of these examples.

Dear readers. It seems that our little posts about Military Movie Clichés have been getting some attention. Our posts about grenades and rubbish officers have attracted a broad readership from around the world. Oddly enough we were getting a lot of individual hits from all the South American countries, which was a mystery until a friend mentioned they had been backpacking through the region and reading our blog as they went!

As a result of this, many people have been suggesting other things that we should write about, but things that don’t necessarily quite fit with the Movie Clichés theme. One of the topics that started a heated debate was the subject of crap berets in films (thank you Brillo and Cow Head). Why do you see actors walking around with berets that look like the unwanted lovechild of a hat and an aircraft carrier? Some look like Che Guevara has been taking fashion tips from a blind French mime artist. No soldier would be seen dead in the kind of milliner’s blancmange that Sly Stallone has sported over the years.

One of his better efforts, but he still looks like an evil pastry chef

But how did a Pyrenees shepherd hat that looks like a pancake become the standard military uniform?

Military Origins: The beret has been around for many years, but it was the French Chasseurs Alpins (Alpine Hunters) that were the first military unit to adopt it back in the 1880s. They were created to protect their mountain borders after Italy got their act together and unified in the latter half of the 19th century, which included reforming their army and creating their own mountain regiments.

Shortly after this photograph was taken, the entire parade was flattened by a passing Chinook whose pilot mistook one of the brass section for the landing deck of the US Nimitz.

Their uniform was designed to be practical in the mountains, and they adopted the beret as it was worn by the locals and shepherds. One advantage was clearly the ability to shelter an entire platoon under one hat during inclement weather. This might have been the end of the military’s relationship with the beret, had it not been for a man called Hugh Elles.

The Men in Black

Sir Hugh Jamieson Elles, at the age of 36 was given command of a secretive military unit in the British Army called the Heavy Branch, which was part of the Machine Gun Corps (MGC). The MGC had been created a year early in late 1915 in order to meet the need for a better understanding and use of machine guns in The Great War. The Heavy Branch followed less than 6 months later with the sole purpose of manning the very first tanks ever to be used in combat. Once the secret was out and the existence of tanks was known by the Germans, the Heavy Branch split away from the MGC and became the Tank Corps, now the Royal Tank Regiment (more on those splendid chaps later).

Life in a tank during WW1 was unpleasant, and it quickly became apparent that most of the uniform designed for regular troops was unsuitable for tank crewmen, in particular the peaked caps. The peak prevented the soldier being able to get his eyes close enough to the sights or viewing slits, and the shape of the cap made it difficult to wear radio headsets when they were introduced. As the war was drawing to a close, Elles and Colonel Fuller were discussing the future of the Tank Corps, including uniform, when Elles spotted the aforementioned Chasseurs who were camped nearby. According to legend, he tried one on and history was given a sartorial upgrade. He thought, however, that the Chasseur beret was “too sloppy” so a compromise based on the Scottish tam o’shanter was designed. The ToS had been used by some Scottish regiments throughout WW1. In 1923 the Tank Corps became the Royal Tank Corps under King George V, and in 1924 he officially granted the sole use of the beret to the RTC (something they had been doing unofficially for years). It wasn’t until 1940, that the rest of the British army’s armoured regiments begrudgingly followed suit.

Special Forces and MURICA!

Slowly but surely, other specialised regiments began to see the value of the beret. It could be rolled up and stuffed in a pocket for starters. The newly formed Parachute Regiment started using the maroon beret (the colour apparently chosen by the author Daphne de Maurier, who was the wife of a high ranking general at the time), with the Commandos and Marines adopting the green beret shortly after. The rest of the British military followed suit in the years following the war. American paratroopers were given berets by their British counterparts, many of whom went on to be part of the US Special Forces Group in the post war years. Despite being told not to, they wore the beret throughout the 50’s until the famous ‘Green Beret’ was officially sanctioned in 1961. Other units were allowed to do the same in the 70’s as part of a drive to improve morale. In 2001 the US Army ordered that the black beret would be worn as standard, however a decade later they reverted back to the cloth cap after complaints were made by soldiers that the beret was ‘too hot’.

So that’s the history behind the military beret, but who wears it well, and who is danger of being carried off in high winds?

 

‘Street Fighter’ – 1994

This film only popped into my head yesterday as it was on television on one of the high numbered channels that is normally reserved for foreign news networks and depressingly low grade pornography. Apparently over half of the budget went on hiring Jean-Claude Van Damme and the terminally ill Raúl Juliá (a brilliant actor who is thankfully better remembered by most as the Gomez in the Addams Family) who received a state funeral in his native Puerto Rico when he died 2 months before the film was released.

Because of the budgetary constraints, the rest of the roles went to unknown actors and actresses, including a diminutive Australian actress called Kylie Minogue. Whilst she has some undeniable talents which could lead you to forgive this monstrosity….

Note the obviously fake foam missile pod, the horrendous camo trousers that would only blend in when lying down on the pavement next to a kebab van at 3am, and the two extras trying to not look at her lovely lady lumps.

… but this blue cowpat is a disgrace to berets everywhere. Even the Chasseurs  would giggle if they saw it.

My helicopter is landing WHERE?!

But Kylie isn’t the only fashion casualty of this particular costume department war. JCVD can’t even decide which side to wear his on.

Before anyone can claim the picture has been reversed, look at the scar on his eyebrow. So maybe ‘Street Fighter’ isn’t the best movie to be measuring with the military-accuracy-yard-stick. We would be here all year! After all, it does have a green dude who is not only electric, but looks as though he’s gone eight rounds with Eubank Jnr (#topicalsportsreference).

Get well soon Nick Blackwell

 

‘Starship Troopers’ – 1997

Treading a fine line between clever satire and dumb celebration of fascism, ‘Starship Troopers’ started life as a script with the terrific B-movie title of ‘Bug Hunt at Outpost Nine’.  During pre-production it was noted that the plot of the script was rather too close to the novel ‘Starship Troopers’ for comfort. Rights to the novel were hastily bought, the title changed and character names adopted to match. Director Paul Verhoeven attempted to read the novel, but abandoned it after two chapters claiming it was boring and depressing.

Despite having the leading military consultant Dale Dye on board as the military advisor, there are some cracking examples of crap hats. The picture below shows a variety of what’s on offer, ranging from the ‘Ok, but a bit big’ to ‘Hey dude in the second row, your hat is causing a localised eclipse’.

“I want the side of mine to come out….this far..”

 

‘Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous’  – 2008

What do you mean you’ve never heard of this blatant rip-off of ‘Private Benjamin’ ?! Don’t worry neither had I, and for good reason. It was only ever released in Russia and Bulgaria (those two titans of eastern block cinema) and subsequently on DVD in the USA under the title ‘Major Movie Star’. No English speaking country would touch it with a barge pole.  If it hadn’t bankrupted everyone involved in this cinematic travesty, then I would suggest Ben Elton and Richard Curtis should sue for robbing the title of one of the best Blackadder episodes (the one where Baldrick plays a slug balancer…).

 

I only include it in this list for three reasons. Firstly as a public warning, secondly so that Jessica Simpson’s shirt can finally be awarded the Oscar for best supporting actor that it justly deserves (how no one was killed by flying buttons is a credit to the costume department) and lastly because of the beret warn by the woman two rows back in this picture. It looks like a laundry bag has been upended on her top of her, and the biggest, blackest (steady now) baggiest pair of pants has landed on her head…then miraculously sprouted a cap-badge. She was probably temporarily deaf in her right ear during the filming of this scene.

Conan O’Brien made a public plea on his show for the film to get a public release, saying the “bad defines the good” and the apparent “85 minute stinkbomb” of ‘Major Movie Star’ would only help to highlight how good ‘Schindler’s List’ really was.

 

‘Private Benjamin’ – 1980

Maybe Jessica Simpson copied everything from Goldie Hawn, including her propensity for shocking head adornments. Suddenly I’m getting nostalgic for ‘Street Fighter’

How Not be Seen…

3rd Parachute Bakery Battalion reporting for duty

 

‘The Wild Geese’ – 1978

Disrespectful, ill-disciplined and with some of the greasiest poops known to man, real life geese are nothing like this ensemble cast of veteran actors. That being said, 50% of Richard Harris’ fee was held as ransom to ensure he behaved on set, as he was known for delaying shoots by being drunk, ‘misbehaving’ and rewriting his lines, and Richard Burton was attempting to be teetotal at the time. ‘Wild Geese’ has not stood the test of time particularly well. It was considered racist, even at the time when filming in apartheid South Africa.

Lads? Anyone else hear a helicopter approaching?

You know you have it badly wrong when the colour of your face matches the colour of your hat.

The military advisor was a South African mercenary, which may explain the dodgy headgear that everyone is sporting.

 

Any Steven Seagal Movie Where he Wears a Hat

“I’m just the cook”

‘I’m just the cook…my washing machine is broken’

No explanation required for this. I think I prefer the chef’s ‘toque’. At least it has some bloody shape to it.

 

‘The A-Team’ – 2010

Whilst ‘The A-Team’ movie was enjoyable in parts, it had a nonsensical plot that was only marginally more believable than Quinton “Rampage” Jackson’s acting. Luckily you only see the team in their berets as they are present at their court-martial, but they look like a tray of yorkshire puddings.

They are also remarkably ill-fitting, but that’s probably because NONE OF THEM HAVE HAD A SODDING HAIRCUT. The proposed sequel was cancelled, probably purely on the berets alone, but also because it didn’t perform as well at the box office as expected.

 

‘Stargate’ – 1994

Kurt Russell has been clearly getting fashion tips from his wife Goldie Hawn. I’m a big fan of the ‘Stargate’ film (not as much as a friend of mine that has the earth coordinates tattooed on his torso), but Kurt Russell’s bonnet is going to give him some funny tan lines. Why is he the only military guy wearing one when everyone else in sensible helmets. Also why black?! It’s the desert.

Johnny Cash during the Battle of Algiers

 

‘A Bridge Too Far’ –  1977

One of the best, and most accurate war films of all time, with an incredible cast. There are so many big names in this film, it’s like a game of famous actor bingo, and it was one of the very first military movies that had the actors put through a military boot camp in preparation, at the insistence of Richard Attenborough who was in the director’s seat. So why bring it up here?

Two reasons, firstly Gene Hackman who plays Polish general Sosabowski. Not only is his accent module stuck somewhere on shop demonstration model, varying wildly between Cornish and phonetic Transylvanian, but his beret is ridiculous.

“But Gaineral, what about the Garmans?”

But hold on! Whilst his accent is inexcusable, the beret is in fact highly accurate. Take a look at this picture of the real General Stanislaw Sosabowski.

It appears that when you are a general, you can wear your hat any way you goddam please!

The second reason is slightly tenuous, but important nonetheless. In the film when the besieged British paratroopers are desperate for supplies, a canister is dropped in the open in a nearby field. A soldier decides to make a brave run for it, cheered on by everyone else, but is gunned down by German machine gun fire as he is attempting to make his way back. The canister falls to the ground and splits open to reveal a stash of maroon berets and nothing else. Remarkably this is a true story, but you will be relieved to hear that the man, Cpl ‘Johnny’ Johnson survived. The berets in this article are bad, but none of them have got someone killed!

 

The Real McCoy

So what should a beret actually look like? Well it depends vastly depending on the country of origin, but in some cases the military unit you are part of. British military guidelines state that the beret…

“…shall be worn evenly on the head, with the sweatband 2.5 cm above the eyebrows, the badge centred over the left eye, and the crown pulled downward to the right. The break of the sweatband shall be worn centred at the back of the head, with no drawstrings visible.”

UNIFORM = everyone looking different

No two berets will look exactly alike, and there will always be local variation in style, but if you are losing sight in your right eye, or hearing in your left ear then you are probably doing it wrong. It should fit snugly on the head without a space big enough to hide bakery products underneath, although the much larger american cap-badges tend to result in a large fold of material behind it.

US Army head dress guidelines

Other nations go for a ‘bigger is better’ approach. This soldier from the Jammu and Kashmir Police looks particularly badass, even if his beret is laughable by British standards…

…whereas this Indian general clearly grew the moustache to take your eyes off his beret.

But the British have little to complain about. This is how our future king dresses. No wonder they made him switch to the RAF!

So it seems that the higher rank you are, the more outrageous you can be with your beret. Just look at Field Marshall Montgomery.

On the lookout for future aircraft carrier designs.

I give up! With examples like this to follow, you can see how the movies get it so wrong. I’m going go watch ‘Private Valentine’ and then go for a lie down.

What else about military movies really gets your goat. Let us know.

Bare Arms was set up in 2013 to provide assistance to film and television productions. They provide advisers to military themed productions, as well as kit and equipment. Occasionally they write rubbish blogs too!

http://www.barearms.co.uk

 

The Top 10 Military Movie Clichés – Part 2: Rubbish Officers

WARNING: Contains some distressing stereotypes that some may recognise. Also contains a significant chunk of British military history…

Nothing can ruin a movie quicker than a lazy script using the same old tired clichés that have been repeated many times over. Military themed films can easily fall into this trap, but just because it is a cliché doesn’t mean it isn’t true. In this series of articles we explore the stories behind the stories, the worst offenders in the movie world and those rare examples where the trend has been bucked.

This is the second in the series of ‘Military Movie Clichés’ and was the most suggested topic for scrutiny…oddly enough by army officers! Many military films have the archetypal character of a useless officer with little experience. They normally make terrible decisions to the detriment of the lead character, and almost always die badly. Where has this stereotype come from, and is it fair? To find out, we’ll need to delve a little into the process of becoming an officer and some history.

The Army Officer

To become an officer in the British Army, you have to pass a long and rigorous selection process, and then complete 44 gruelling weeks at the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst before ‘commissioning’ as a junior officer. After RMAS, the young officers then complete a further training course to prepare them for their chosen speciality. Infantry platoon commander, tank troop leader and attack helicopter pilot are the possible combat courses, but there are many other support roles. 15-20 months (longer in the case of pilots) of intensive military training is meant to produce some of the best officers in the world, but this hasn’t always been the case.

Old College Parade Square – Commissioning Parade – RMAS

During the reign of Charles II, the practice of purchasing a commission started for a number of reasons. It was meant to preserve the social exclusivity of the officer class by ensuring that only the rich could become officers by buying their entry into the military. This had the secondary effect of ensuring that the officers would be much less likely to engage in looting or pillaging or any kind of profiteering as they didn’t need to. It also acted as a retirement fund for the officer. When they wanted to leave, they would sell their rank to an officer of the rank below. This was often by means of an auction, so more desirable regiments commanded higher prices.. If the officer was killed in action, his commission would be awarded to someone else for free, but they wouldn’t be able to sell it on and profit without serving a further three years.

The commanding officer of a regiment could refuse the purchase of a commission by someone who had the money, but not the social background to his liking. All of this ensured that the richest officers progressed, not necessarily the best, and resulted in incompetent leadership throughout the officer class. This was partly mitigated by long periods of combat such as the Napoleonic Wars, which caused heavy casualties amongst the senior ranks and persuaded the less committed aristocrats (of which there were many who obtained a commission purely for social reasons) to retire early to avoid active service. This meant that there were many more available commissions which therefore drove the price down and allowed those more professional, but less affluent individuals into the officer ranks.

Unfortunately the 30 years of relative peace after the Napoleonic wars allowed this process to be reversed in the run up to the Crimean War, which was significant in contributing to military blunders such as the Charge of the Light Brigade lead by Lord Cardigan.

Cardigan purchased his commission and subsequent command appointments. Whilst he was supposedly brave and kind to the men under his command, he was severely incompetent and caused a large amount of resentment between him and the professional officers who served him. He is considered by many to be the worst example of the problems caused by the commissioning purchasing system, and his part in the events of the Crimean War kick-started an inquiry into the practice which was abolished in 1871.

Despite this, The Great War (or The First World War) produced yet more stories of incompetence. Examples of regiments of brave ‘Tommies’ being sent to their deaths by indifferent generals pervaded throughout the culture of the time and the years that followed until World War Two. The phrase ‘Lions led by Donkeys’ was coined to describe the situation and generals such as Field Marshall Douglas Haig took most of the blame for the huge casualties of the war, but was it really his fault?

Field Marshall Douglas Haig

 

The main cause of the devastating statistics during the first few years of the war was the onset of new technologies that simply had not existed before. Almost overnight, the tactics that had developed over the last century became irrelevant. Inventions such as automatic weapons and poisonous gases, meant that the knowledge and experience of career soldiers such as Haig was rendered obsolete. It took both sides a significant amount of time to develop further technologies (such as the tank) and tactics to combat the resulting trench warfare stalemate, and during that time many people lost their lives. Generals such as Haig took the blame, but probably unfairly.

‘A Tank in Action‘ by John Hassall – 1917

Today the ‘officer class’ is a myth. Officers are selected purely on potential and merit, and definitely not on their finances or background. Anyone can be an officer if they have the correct qualities, most important of which is intelligence and ability to learn. Despite this, tales of incompetence still pervade modern cinema. It’s another easy script shortcut to show the officer as clean-cut, inexperienced and out of his (almost always male) depth. Here are the worst examples and a couple that buck the trend.

‘Fury’: As I promised in the previous article, ‘Fury’ is making another appearance and it won’t be the last in this series. Lieutenant Parker has the difficult job of commanding three older, more experienced, battle hardened sergeants. From the very start he is singled out as being somewhat different and also weaker than his subordinates. The picture below shows you everything you need to know in a snapshot.

Lt. Parker fails to impress Sgt. Collier

Firstly Parker is too clean. He is clean shaven and wearing fresh clothes. Everything is regulation despite being in the middle of a war. The way he speaks, the lack of confidence in which he carries himself and the looks that the sergeants give him suggest that he is fighting a losing battle when it comes to gaining their respect. Compare him to Bradd Pitt’s ‘Wardaddy’ and you can see why he isn’t going to survive the first scene, let alone to get to tea and medals at the end of the film. As the tank troop move off, we see the officer standing out the top of his turret in a vulnerable position. Again, compare this to the other commanders who are correctly hunkered down, with as little of their bodies outside the tanks as possible. Moments later his tank is hit by a panzerfaust (rocket launcher), setting him on fire as the fuel ignites inside the vehicle. Whilst screaming in a high pitched manner and engulfed in flames, Parker tumbles out the vehicle and then takes his own life with his service pistol. From his entry to his exit, everything is done to make Parker look as ineffective as possible. His character is largely redundant to the plot and seems to only serve to make the officer class look as bad as possible.

 

‘Aliens’: Before anyone starts, ‘Aliens’ is definitely a war film…and a horror film…and a science fiction film. It’s got Marines in it, a lot of guns and a crap officer, so today it is a war film. Lieutenant Gordon is a far more convincing officer than Parker, but equally clean cut (as the picture below shows) and out of his depth. He immediately alienates (excuse the pun) himself from this troops, by not eating with them, getting their names mixed up, imposing unreasonable timelines on them and by generally being an ‘asshole’. He doesn’t redeem himself by showing nerves during the combat drop onto the planet, and thus revealing his inexperience to everyone on the mission.

Lt. Gordon addresses his Colonial Marines

Lt. Gordon dealing with stress ‘inadequately’

Things are made worse by his decision to stay aboard the command vehicle, whilst the marines enter the buildings without him. When things start to go wrong, he panics and makes poor tactical decisions which forces Ripley to take matters into her own hands. Luckily for everyone, he is accidentally knocked unconscious for the middle of the film, enabling Michael Biehn’s ‘Corporal Hicks’ to take over. When he finally comes around, he resigns himself a non-command position for the rest of the film. His only redeeming moment is when he courageously turns back to rescue a wounded Vasquez.

They are both trapped and surrounded in a ventilation shaft, so to prevent them being taken, he kills them both with a grenade (why didn’t we include that in Part 1: GRENADES!?). Rather unfairly, the last thing that is said to him is by Vasquez who grunts “You always were an asshole, Gorman.” just before he pulls out the grenade.

 

‘Kelly’s Heroes’: Captain Maitland is only in the film for about a minute, but he is totally preoccupied with ‘appropriating’ a small sailing boat to take home to the USA. He is oblivious to the situation developing around him or what his subordinates are up to. Clint Eastwood plays Private Kelly, who is a former officer himself, but was demoted after a failed infantry assault. Whilst an excellent if tongue in cheek war movie, the film belongs to the enlisted men and the officers don’t get a look in.

Oddball and his tank crew

 

‘The Eagle has Landed’: Another excellent war movie, which almost has you rooting for the Germans, but contains a truly terrible officer. To be fair to ‘The Eagle has Landed’ it does have some very good officers in it, but Colonel Clarence E. Pitts is one of the worst portrayed on screen. Not only inexperienced, but also keen to get some glory after being left out of D-Day preparations, his idiotic assault on the church results in many of his men being killed. The character of Colonel Pitts is comedic relief that isn’t needed in the film, and to some extent detracts from the drama. His death is as equally ridiculous as the rest of his presence.

Larry Hagman as Colonel Pitts – a split second before being shot

 

‘Sharpe’ (TV): Sir Henry Simmerson is a reoccurring villain in Bernard Cornwell’s ‘Sharpe’ series, and was played in the television series by Michael Cochrane. A portrayal of the old type of officer who has purchased his commission, Simmerson is a coward and an idiot. In the books he is described as short, squat, and red-faced giving the impression of “a pig sitting on horseback.” He is snobbish, aristocratic and a narrow-minded, the exact opposite of Sharpe.

Sharpe starts life as a private in the infantry, but gains a commission from the ranks in the midst of battle and ends up as a colonel by the time of Waterloo. His struggle against the likes of Simmerson is one of class and background that is relevant to this entire article.

‘Damn his eyes!’

 

‘Blackadder Goes Forth’ (TV): The fourth and final series of the Richard Curtis and Ben Elton comedy is the best of the Blackadder series, and one of the best British comedy series of all time. Whilst it is a comedy, it has been criticised for reinforcing the ‘lions led by donkeys’ mantra mentioned previously. Every officer portrayed in the series has serious character defects, none more so than General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett,KCB (played by Stephen Fry) who was a caricature of Haig and other generals of the time. His Wikipedia entry sums him up perfectly as;

“…a loud, childish, unintelligent, incompetent, pompous warmonger… his preferred battle tactics and general attitudes towards warfare are stuck firmly in a bygone era. He fails to understand or comprehend the basic concepts of modern trench warfare and is totally unable to come up with a new strategy that would suit it. Instead he continuously sends men to a senseless death with seemingly no tactics at all.”

His sycophantic adjutant is no better. Captain Darling is graciously described as a ‘snivelling rubber desk-johnny!’ by Lord Flashheart, himself a narcissistic, arrogant and self-absorbed lunatic played by the incomparable Rik Mayall. The Hon. George Colthurst St Barleigh, is a young, enthusiastic lieutenant whose excitability is only matched by his naivety, where as Blackadder himself is a liar and a coward. With characters like this it easy to see how the stereotypes have prevailed.

“Good luck…”

Despite this, and remarkably for a comedy, the series ends with one of the most poignant sequences depicting the Great War. It is hard to watch it and not be moved. The writers received disapproval for trivialising the horrors of the era, but the closing scene completely silenced their critics.

So those were some of the examples of the bad officers depicted in celluloid, but what about the good ones?

‘Band of Brothers’: Dick Winters’ exploits during WW2 have been well documented thanks to the excellent HBO series based on Stephen E. Ambrose’s book of the same name. Throughout the preparations for D-Day, the assault itself, the liberation of France and the invasion of Germany, he showed exemplary leadership in difficult circumstances. The headquarters element of Easy Company was shot down during the D-Day insertion, killing everyone on board. As a result Winters had to assume company command for the duration of the Normandy campaign. He was nominated for the Medal of Honor for a crucial assault on a German gun battery, defeating 50 Germans with only 13 of his own men. Aspects of the attack are still taught at West Point (The American version of Sandhurst) as an example of an assault with a numerically inferior force. During the ill-fated Operation Market Garden, Winters successfully assaulted a German position of 300 soldiers with only a platoon of 30. He was always humble about his achievements, dedicating his success to his ‘company of heroes’. Winters died in 2011.

Richard ‘Dick’ Winters – Dec ’45

On the opposite side of the coin is the real life character of Herbert Sobel played by David Schwimmer in the TV series. He was known to be petty and vindictive and universally hated by men and officers alike. He was considered a poor leader who knew little about basic infantry tactics, and was more concerned with his image than the welfare of this men. However many of Easy company agree that his harsh treatment of them was instrumental in turning them into one of the best fighting units in the U.S. Army.

‘Saving Private Ryan’: Another Spielberg World War II epic, that arguable started the modern trend of officers being portrayed in a more realistic and favourable light that was carried forward to ‘Band of Brothers’ and ‘The Pacific’.

“Ryan? James Francis Ryan?”

Tom Hanks deserved his Best Actor Oscar Nomination for his portrayal of the stoic and dependable Captain John H. Miller, who is an inspirational father figure to his men, yet keeping a respectful distance that allows him to maintain command. Even when everything is going wrong and his men are dying around him he stays loyal to his mission and keeps them moving forward, no matter how pointless it seems. He shows compassion, even to the Germans he is fighting and doesn’t give up despite mortally wounded and faced with a Tiger tank armed only with a Colt .45. He sacrifices everything for the life of someone he doesn’t even know.

 

Tom Hanks as Capt. Miller

‘We Were Soldiers’: Another film that is based on real events and contains some truly inspirational officers, from the commanding officer Hal Moore (played by Mel Gibson) who refuses to leave until all his men are accounted for and off the battlefield, to Major Bruce Crandall who won the Medal of Honor for flying his helicopter in and out of the combat zone multiple times to bring in ammunition and to extract the wounded.

Someone that deserves a special mention is the relatively unknown Rick Rescorla, a Cornishman who not only served with The Parachute Regiment, the Rhodesian Police and the Metropolitan Police, but also joined the U.S. military as an officer. Hal Moore described him as “the best platoon leader I ever saw”. He fought at La Drang during the events depicted by the film, but he and his unit were almost completely written out of the script. However this is not the prime reason you should know his name. He should be remembered for his actions on September 11th 2001, where he was the director of security for Morgan Stanley in the South Tower of the World Trade Center. He correctly predicted that the next terrorist attack could be a plane crashing into the towers, and designed emergency evacuation procedures for such an event, which were practised every three month despite friction with the company executives.

Cyril Richard ‘Rick’ Rescorla

When the first plane hit the North Tower, Rescorla ignored instructions from his superiors to stay put and began evacuating employees immediately in accordance with his drills. To boost morale he began to sing British military songs, a childhood habit which he had utilised throughout his time in Vietnam to inspire his men. He was last seen heading back up the South Tower to ensure he had got everyone out, shortly before the tower collapsed. Nearly 3,000 people owe their lives to his foresight, leadership, courage and discipline.

 

The Truth

So it seems that there once was an endemic culture for unprofessional army officers rising through the ranks to the upper echelons, primarily caused by the purchase of commissions and the maintenance of the class divide. This image wasn’t helped by the rapidly changing nature of warfare during the early 20th century, which rendered many senior officers outmoded and obsolete despite their best intentions. Hollywood and the film industry in general has always catered for the masses, and therefore was keen to portray the difference between the elitist officers and the enlisted men. Inspirational stories of the common man doing well, whilst simultaneously showing the weaknesses of the entitled that were meant to led them through birthright, were always destined to be popular.

To counter this it seems that whenever the media draws its inspiration from real life events, the depiction of officers has always been more balanced. In the military there are both good and bad officers, just as there are good and bad soldiers. Young officers will always lack experience, but they make up for it with exuberance and bravery. A good NCO should support and mentor their officers, rather than undermine and circumvent them. For every Winters there needs to be a Malarkey. For every Miller there is a Horvath at his side throughout. Even Hal Moore had Sergeant Major Plumley and Sharpe had Harper. This is not a coincidence.

“Good young officers who become good old generals are made by good sergeants, … a combination of ill-founded self-confidence, bluff and outstanding support and guidance from a series of unforgettable sergeants allowed me to create an impression of competence.” – Major-General Lewis MacKenzie

“A new lieutenant is a precious thing…. Don’t take advantage of him, but train him, correct him when he needs it (remembering that diplomacy is part of your job description), and be ready to tell the world proudly that he’s yours. If you are ashamed of him, maybe it’s because you’ve neglected him or failed to train him properly. Do something about it. Show a genuine concern that he’s learning the right way instead of the easy way. But be careful not to undermine his authority or destroy his credibility. Remember that order and counter-order create disorder…. As the senior and most experienced NCO in the platoon, you must pass on the benefit of wisdom and experience to your platoon leader as well as to the soldiers.” – 1st Sgt Jeffrey J. Mellinge

So whenever you see an officer portrayed in the movies, have a look at the NCO by his side…

What other ‘Military Movie Clichés’ annoy you? Pictures of pregnant wife / new baby = first to die? No reloading during battles?! Inconsistent explosions? One-in-a-million shots happening 9 out of 10 times? Let us know in the comments below what you want to see and await the next edition….

The Top 10 Military Movie Clichés -Part 1: GRENADES!

WARNING: Contains spoilers for some films that you really should have seen by now…and if you haven’t, you probably never will. Soooo….

Nothing can ruin a movie quicker than a lazy script using the same old tired clichés that have been repeated many times over. Military themed films can easily fall into this trap, but just because it is a cliché doesn’t mean it isn’t true. In this series of articles we explore the stories behind the stories, the worst offenders in the movie world and those rare examples where the trend has been bucked.

Part 1: Falling on a hand grenade

Grenades have been around in rudimentary forms since the 8th century, but the modern hand grenade was developed in the first decade of the 20th Century in the run up to The Great War. Over the last 100 years there have been many stories of soldiers throwing themselves on grenades to save their comrades, but are they true? Hollywood would certainly have you believe it is. So much so, that an episode of ‘The Simpsons’ depicting Grandpa’s time with The Flying Hellfish deliberately riffs on this, where Grandpa saves the life of Monty Burns, by placing his helmet over a grenade.

The following films have all used this example of selfless sacrifice as part of their plots. But why does it crop up so regularly?

Our first example ‘Act of Valor’ is noteworthy because it uses real U.S. Navy SEALs to add realism to the incredible action sequences. Unfortunately whilst the SEALs are world class operators, they are not world class actors! The dialogue is terribly written, but also woodenly delivered. The movie ends with a tear jerker of a funeral for the officer of the team, who dives on an enemy grenade to save his team.

 

‘Fury’ is a film that will pop up many times during this series. What should have been a corker of a tank film ended up ticking all the wrong boxes in the cliché roster. One of the minor misdemeanors is the death of Gordo, the driver of the eponymous fighting machine played by Michael Peña. Whilst preparing a grenade during the final battle, he is shot and drops it into the hull. In order to save the crew he quickly picks up the grenade, doubles over it and takes the force of the explosion. More on ‘Fury’  in later editions.

 

By all accounts, the ‘The Thin Red Line’  was a nightmare of a film to make for cast and crew alike. The first cut was over 5hrs long and many fine actors ended up on the editing room floor in order to get Art Malick’s opus down to a respectable length. Woody Harrelson’s death scene is one of the more depressing moments. An experienced soldier, Sergeant Keck, accidentally pulls the pin on a grenade on the back of his belt whilst trying to throw it at the advancing enemy. After a second of disbelief he throws himself against an embankment to protect the rest of his platoon, and as he dies he chastises himself for making such a ‘recruit’ mistake.

 

‘Captain America’ is slightly different as it knowingly plays on the genre. Tommy Lee Jones described his own character of Colonel Chester Phillips as “the one you’ve seen in a thousand movies: the gruff, sceptical officer overseeing a team of talented, slightly sarcastic, specially talented soldiers” which is in itself a movie trope. In order to test a group of soldiers, the colonel throws a dummy grenade into their midst. All the soldiers scatter with the exception of Steve Rogers, a frail and sickly reject who dives over the grenade believing it to be real. It this act of heroism that convinces Colonel Phillips that Rogers is the man for the very special job he has lined up.

 

The Truth

So does this kind of thing ever happen for real? Remarkably it has happened numerous times through enemy action and accidents. Falling on grenades has accounted for more Medal of Honor winners than any other act, but unsurprisingly the recipients rarely survive. Corporal Kyle Carpenter was only 21 when he was on a rooftop in Afghanistan with another marine from the U.S. Marine Corps. A grenade landed in their sandbagged position during an attack, and Carpenter was credited with shielding his fellow marine from the blast. He lost his right eye and most of his teeth. His jaw and right arm were shattered and he has undergone dozens of surgeries. For this action he was awarded the Medal of Honor, the U.S.A.’s highest award for bravery.

Another recent example is Lance Corporal Matthew Croucher who was initially put forward for a Victoria Cross for his actions with the British Marines near Sangin in Afghanistan in 2008. He accidentally activated a trip-wire grenade as he was moving through a compound at night, but realised in time to react. Instead of diving to the floor he purposefully fell backwards, tucking his legs to his chest, landing on the grenade and covering it with his backpack. He suffered relatively minor injuries as the backpack and body armour prevented him from being more seriously hurt. Instead of being evacuated, he insisted that they put in a hasty ambush to catch the Taliban fighters who would probably come and investigate the explosion. His actions undoubtedly saved the life of at least one of his patrol. Croucher was awarded the George Cross, which is second to the Victoria Cross in the order which they are worn, but equal in merit. The only difference between the GC and VC is the latter is only awarded for bravery ‘in the face of the enemy’. [Thanks to John Concannon for the correction].

There are many more stories of similar examples, so whilst it seems that ‘falling on a grenade’ is a recurrent theme in the cinema, it isn’t as far from the truth as you might think. Soldiers will sometimes do the unimaginable to protect their comrades in arms, and grenades are inherently dangerous to both friend and foe. Even so, there must be another way for scriptwriters to demonstrate bravery and sacrifice?! Why is it always grenades?!

So falling on grenades is 100% true, but 100% overused.

What other ‘Military Movie Clichés’ annoy you? Pictures of pregnant wife / new baby = first to die? Inexperienced officers being ineffective? No reloading during battles?! Let us know in the comments below what you want to see and await the next edition….

Sicario

We originally wrote a short review for Sicario after its cinematic release, but in the meantime it has been nominated for three Oscars. This week it gets its home release so we’ve updated and embellished our original review.

It is quite rare to sit through a film these days and then instantly want to see more of the characters. Normally Hollywood requires everything to be neatly wrapped up within the running time, or to end on a cliffhanger with an obvious opening to a money grabbing sequel. Sicario is different. You get dropped into the middle of the story and you don’t get a a neat conclusion. Like all the best films, it will probably leave you with more questions than when you started, but you aren’t alone. Emily Blunt plays FBI Agent Kate Mercer who is kept equally in the dark throughout and acts as a conduit for the viewer to observe proceedings.

After her strong performance as the female special forces warrior Sgt. Vrataski in Edge of Tomorrow, Blunt gets another chance to flex her action muscles…and boy does she do it convincingly. At times she is reminiscent of Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley, both tough and sensitive in the same breath. Mercer gets used as a passenger to legitimise the shadowy schemes of Matt Graver, a CIA agent played by a laconic Josh Brolin. Accompanying him is Benicio del Toro as the elusive Alejandro Gillick, whose soft demeanour is clearly hiding a traumatic past.

The film is gloriously shot due to British cinematographer Roger Deakins, who was nominated for an Oscar for the thirteenth time this year for his part in Sicario (yet remarkably has never won. Leonardo Dicaprio has nothing to complain about in comparison!). If you have never heard of him, in the past he has been the man responsible for the look of most of the Cohen Brothers’ films, Skyfall and The Shawshank Redemption to mention a few.

There are four stand out sequences that are each a master-class in the building of tension. One of these scenes is technically and visually exceptional, and would have probably won Deakins the Oscar on its own, however for the third year in a row the award went to Emmanuel Lubezki for his work on The Reverent . It involves the tactical assault of an illegal tunnel system seen through the eyes of Graver and Gillick, wearing night vision and thermal goggles respectively. The constant switching between the two different visualisations not only looks fantastic, but it also enables the viewer to easily distinguish who’s point of view they are seeing without the need for dialogue.

The other memorable scenes include the opening sequence featuring an FBI SWAT team assault onto a suburban bungalow, a snatch and grab operation across the Mexican border and a scene where we discover Gillick’s true motivation and his role in the proceedings. Each of them is engrossing, but in different ways. From start to finish I was hooked. The pace is perfect. It wasn’t exhausting like some pure action films, but my attention was undivided for the duration. Josh Brolin does his usual job of acting cocky and brash whilst Emily Blunt is strong and determined, yet fragile at times, but the film really belongs to Benecio Del Toro. He is quiet and understated throughout, playing third fiddle until he gets his own jaw-dropping moment in the closing stages.

Sicario is easily the best film I’ve seen in a long time, but I can’t help selfishly wanting a sequel / 6 part HBO series to follow it up, which would probably only diminish its impact. You care about what happens to Gillick and Mercer (less so Graver) and you only get to scratch the surface of the world they have become embroiled in. If you didn’t get the chance to watch it on the big screen, grab the opportunity now. For what is a relatively low budget film ($30 million), it looks and plays out like something with four times the money behind it.

Sicario Trailer